Thursday, June 7, 2012

Loving One Another

Showing love is an essential part of love. As the old saying goes, "Love isn't love until you give it away". I believe that love needs to be both spoken and shown. I believe one goes with the other, creating the complete and total package, leaving no room for doubt. Such as love is, it needs to be expressed.

June 6th, Bill & I mark our 31st wedding anniversary. Long before we married, we were platonic friends. However, even then, we had a mutual love and respect for each other. We listened to each other, sharing thoughts, ideas, and time together. When we parted, he would kiss me on the check and we would hug. We loved each other as friends. 

Even now, all of these years later, we still find ways to show our love. We always tell each other, every day. It is important to verbalize it, and it is important to hear it. We say it, email it, and text it. It is important to both of us to say it and to hear it. The words are reassuring, especially when it is all you have at the time. With Bill being an over the road trucker, those words are what keep us going until we can be together again.

Of course, we show our love in many ways. The support Bill has given me throughout my health issues is invaluable to me. I could not do this without his love and support. The monthly cost and logistics of traveling to and from Arizona (Mayo), and the various physical limitations this has put upon me and our lives has been extremely hard. Yet, Bill is there for me, telling me that I can do this, we can do this. Knowing I have his love and support motivates me to keep going. Knowing he believes in me makes me feel loved, and makes me want to make sure he feels loved and appreciated, in return.

I have always made it a priority to show and tell him he is loved. I support whatever he does, be it career, hobby, professional or personal. I believe in him. I tell him, and I show him in whatever way I can. That's what love does; it makes you want to be and do more for the other person. It is the little things, and the big things. It is both. Loving means being there in the way that the other needs you to be, even when it may be inconvenient or difficult. 

Love is about both saying it and  showing it, bringing it full circle, leaving no doubt. I need to do both, and I appreciate when both are returned. This holds true because love is a gift...the greatest one to give and to receive.

June 1982, 1st anniversary


13 comments:

  1. Congratulations and happy anniversary!

    I saw an interesting interview with a therapist on a talk show a couple of years ago, about the subject of love, how we feel loved. I didn't think much about it prior to that, but we all have different preferences for how we want to receive love, what it means to us.

    For instance, my mom is a touchy-feely person and she didn't feel loved by my dad because that was not his way of showing it. As an adult and with a good relationship with him now that we're both much older, I'd say he shows love via his actions, little things that he does. So we can give it and want it differently, and it's important for people to understand that just because someone doesn't say it every day (for example), doesn't mean they don't love you. So I think both have to compromise, have to understand how the other expresses love, and have to make an effort to express love in a way that is meaningful to the partner.

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  2. Kim, I agree...and that is really why it is so important to love someone the way they need it, even when it may be difficult. When you love someone, it is important that they feel it and know it. That's what loving is...and does.

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  3. Happy Anniversary! Marriage has its ups and downs, and you must cling to each other and hold on tight! Congratulations on 31 years together!

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  4. This sounds as though you both work hard to keep this relationship healthy and strong...actually it's not hard at all...is it?

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  5. Have a wonderful celebration! ..and love and marriage, (relationship) can be explained like a bank account, with deposits and withdrawls...without deposits the account drys up!

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  6. Beautiful post! Happy, Happy Anniversary!

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  7. Being together for this long, getting over all the speedbumps in the road of life, you obviously know "the secret"... LOVE is the secret! Truly loving and caring for each other,thru better and worse, thick and thin, every day and always! You couldn't be more right about understanding how people need to be loved and how important it is to say I LOVE YOU, ever day in lots of ways! Anyone in a relationship that doesn't hear those words or finds them hard to say has problems lurking in the corner, time to figure out what's going on and try to fix it! My Dad didn't learn to say "I love you" to his daughters until after Mom died. Then he realized how important it was to say it and hear it. Hearing it from him was the most healing medicine in the world! I smile looking at the picture of the two "kids" here, cuz they are just as cute all these years later, and their love is even stronger than they ever might have imagined it would be! Here's to 31 more years shared...don't laugh, it could happen! XOXO Josie

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  8. PS - It was great to see you sharing your thoughts with us, you are a wise woman indeed, it shows!

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  9. Well happy anniversary a day late!!! I can always tell from your writing what a special relationship you and Bill have ---when you write about him your words just kind of glow with the love that you feel for him and obviously he feels the same way about you. Hope your next 31 years together bring you even more happiness.

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  10. Hubby and me have had talks where we believe love is not just an emotion but an action word; one has to show love, not just say it; I think you and Bill have shown love as a verb in so many ways over the years!

    betty

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  11. Lovely post! Made me smile :)

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  12. I had to read your first paragraph to my husband. He and I were friends and only friends for years. So, when the inevitable happened, we already knew each other more than most people do on their wedding day!!

    We are each other's priority EVERY minute of every day.

    No stranger to horrible health issues, there are so many mayo clinics closer to you than Arizona. What is it about this one?

    I have to go back...way back in your blog...and see if I can catch up with you.

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  13. You are so very right. Too many forget to show their feelings and then lose touch with them ... that is how a relationship can decay. You and Bill have found the formula that works for you and probably works for everyone. Thirty-one years will attest to that ...

    Andrea

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