Wednesday, June 27, 2012


It's all about perspective. To really understand what someone is going through or feeling, you have to have experienced it. No matter how sensitive, kind, or well meaning, you cannot truly understand unless you have been in that same place of pain, of that kind of sorrow.

You cannot expect someone to feel a certain way, based upon your perception or assessment of their situation. To disregard or dismiss someone's sadness, their personal feelings, is disrespectful and beyond hurtful.

When someone is going through a difficult time, they don't need to be told to "cheer up" or "be strong". They need to be told they are cared about. They need to be validated, that their concerns and feelings matter. We need to respect what they are feeling and their right to feel it. 

Each of us has a different path in life, a personal journey. We do not all have the same experiences. Some of us seem to have it easier than others, seeming to sail through life on  fair winds and following seas. Others do not, forever struggling against a strong current under stormy skies. 

Sometimes we choose our path. Sometimes it is laid out before us by someone else.  There does come a time to chart our own course or at least the way we must navigate it, perhaps that being our journey. 


  1. Well said. Until you have walked that mile you cannot totally understand.

  2. A resounding AMEN from my corner, Annie! This is beautifully written and I agree with everything you said. It is so easy to tell people how to feel or what to do... but really no one has any idea what it feels like on the inside or what you are going thru. The best gift we can give each other as family and friends, is caring, support, encouragement, and love! Armed with that, we will be strong enough to find our own way!

  3. Replies
    1. Thank you. I believe it is important to share. I am glad you agree.

  4. I agree so much that people need to be listened to and their feelings respected.

  5. Gosh oh gosh this is RIGHT ON!!! I recently read a blog where the author was talking about social network sites and how everyone is a big fat fake that we are only seeing the best photos best recaps on peoples lifes best status's etc... but on blogger I read peoples hardships, life struggles, not so good days etc... and what do we followers/friends do ?? We rally up a comment full of love and encouragement :)) It is a completely different social network thing that I would be lost without everyone's great need to lift each other up no judgements.... just friends trying to see the similarities in each others lives I like that don't you?
    Thanks for this post you really nailed it :))

  6. I can't say much more than has already been said. Truth speaks for itself and what you have written is truth. If we could all live by it life would be much better. But remember, it is hard and even uncomfortable for the person who is not in pain to know how to support someone if they haven't been in the same pain. The important thing is that they try ... and care enough to want to be helpful even though it doesn't always work that way.
    I am glad to see you putting your own writting out on your blog. You have much to say and many who would listen. Good Job ...

    Andrea @From The Sol