Tuesday, April 8, 2014

"Tuesday Coffee Chat: I Am Not..."


I am joining "Rory Bore" for her Tuesday Coffee Chat on her blog, Time Out for Mom. I really enjoy her blog. Her posts are always well thought out and heartfelt. If you do not know her, I encourage you to visit her blog.

Rory Bore's topic of conversation this week is (to finish) the statement, "I am NOT...." Her "rant" regarding a personal experience was upsetting to her, and to me reading about it. I immediately could identify with her, for different reasons but the same feeling.

I answered the question in my reply on her blog, because I was busy when I read her post. However, because this is an issue very near to my heart, I am answering it here and linking to her blog. 

My answer was as follows:
"I take offense when people judge me by their opinion of who I am, rather than listening to me tell you who I am. I am referring to the ones who just keep telling me what I am saying or thinking, or God forbid, feeling. Then when I finally stand up for myself, and tell them they are wrong about me, they go ballistic on me. I do not like confrontation. I will hold things in, rather than hurt someone. However, if you keep at me, there will come a point when I tell you just how wrong about me you are. I am human. I never said I was more, but I am not less. Shame on you for making me feel less. I am not your interpretation of me." 

To which, she replied, "exactly! "making me feel less" - or at least the attempt to do this; that's what irks me. no one has that right, and it doesn't seem to me that it's a very good motivator either."

I then added, "It isn't. But it certainly tells me the other person doesn't understand me or really care how I feel. It isn't about me, I realize. It is about them."

Please visit Rory Bore's blog, read her very valid "rant", and answer her question. She will listen and respect your right to your opinion. She is wonderful that way.
 

24 comments:

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    1. I recommend that you go...now...she is wonderful.

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  2. This line is perfect! --> "I am not your interpretation of me."

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    1. Thank you, Beth. That means a lot to me.

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  3. Nice Post. I'm going over there to meet her now.

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  4. One thing about our blogs…some folks who comment think that since they are not sitting face to face with us and don't know us personally, they can say things that they might think better of under different circumstances. I have gotten to an age where I usually am able to blow off most of those who misjudge me. I find the people you reference are usually those with low-esteem who elevate themselves by making others feel less worthy or important. Kick 'em to the curb. Don't need those folks in your life. Life is too, too short. Hugs, Janet

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    1. Janet, you are right. No matter who these people are, we need to remember who we are. Thanks. Hugs.

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  5. Thank you for the recommendation, her blog is great. Also, i agree, other people have no right to tell us who we "should" be.

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    1. Thank you, Mimi. They do not define who we are, either.

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  6. OH, this so spoke to me. I had a "friend" a few years ago. The friendship didn't work out and I truly had felt God leading me to end it. When that happened, this lady took it out on me on her blog, writing several posts and not mentioning me by name, but slamming me and my character and trying her best to shine a big spotlight on herself and how good she is. It hurt me something terrible....until I realized that if I had seen thru her, then others do, too. Thanks so very much for your insight!!

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    1. I understand, Debbie. Thank you for sharing this. You are right; these people reveal themselves. We do not have to succumb to their interpretation of us. Hugs.

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  7. A very thought provoking post. I don't know why some folks feel the need to judge others. I find it happens a lot when it comes to religion.
    Going to check out the link now. :)

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    1. Thanks, Carletta. I think it has to do with many things, but that none are acceptable. People should be able to just walk away, without judging or hurting someone.

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  8. I went over to Rory Bore's blog and enjoyed muchly. Thank you, Ann. I felt soooo much better getting my own mini rant in. :)

    Anyone who makes you feel less, shouldn't be part of your life. Period.

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    1. Thank you, Talon. You are such an inspiration to me.

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  9. Thank you so much for sharing this .... and more importantly for sharing of your heart! It's such a difficult situation sometimes, because I am a firm believer that we should always deal with people out of love; whenever possible. But some people just make that so darn difficult. I've received so m much unsolicited advice since becoming a mom - which isn't always bad advice - but when it is based on gross assumptions about me, it's so disheartening.
    But thank you for standing with me! You speak such wisdom, and at the end of the day knowing that women of courage, compassion, and caring such as yourself are with me: who can defeat me really?
    Much love my friend! <3

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    1. I agree with you on dealing with people from a loving place. Some people make that difficult. I hold it in, often. I believe though that there are times we need to stand up for ourselves, and in doing so others like us. I have hope for the future knowing there are moms like you. You rock.

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  10. I can so relate to your post. I just loved this: "I am not your interpretation of me." Quote-worthy! I will go visit your friend's blog too.

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    1. Thank you, Shail. The timing was perfect with your post and Rory Bore's post. I think you will agree.

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  11. OH this is dear to my heart. I like to know I am not the only one who resents others telling me who I am and what I stand for and what's going on with me when they have no idea. Unless you are a trusted friend that is. :-)

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    1. That makes it worse, when you thought the person could be trusted to know you, or when the person does know what is going on in your life.

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